Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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