just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
