and you said cock pushups were impossible
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
