Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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