Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
