i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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