I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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