Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
