wakey wakey hands off snakey
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
