Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
