I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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