Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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