I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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