Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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