we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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