Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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