paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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