Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
