you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you win again, gameday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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