he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize