last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
