Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
