the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
