You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
