worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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