Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
