Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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