i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need water and some morals
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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