at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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