Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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