if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
