actually, I'm a sock model
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
