you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize