you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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