Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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