Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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