Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize