Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
