i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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