I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
