i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize