I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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