Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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