either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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