i think my tv is drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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