i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Ketchup is God's man juice
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We just shotgunned beers for America
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Panties = found
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