break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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