I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
