just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
