His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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