Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
