hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
