the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she peed on how many people?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
