omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
