THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
