come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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