First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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