To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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